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Posts Tagged ‘personal power’

Finding The Miracle in The Mess

Posted on: December 30th, 2011 by Beth Heilman

As I sit here in my office looking back at everything that's happened this past year, it's amazing to me how God works when we let Him.

There's been something going on in my life that I haven't been very vocal about because to be honest, it made me feel like a failure. I thought that if I talked about it and let everyone know about it then they'd KNOW I was a failure and then "who would listen to me".

That was my ego talking. And officially, here and now, I'm stuffing a sock in it's mouth. 

All I know is if I can share what I've been through, maybe just maybe, it will help you or someone else to see that there is always hope…there is always a way.

Let's start with how the mess began…

Many of you know of my years selling Real Estate for builders here in Las Vegas. It's no secret that the Las Vegas housing market has been the black hole of foreclosures and short sales for a few years now and doesn't look like it's getting better any time soon. The results have been devastating economically, from a numbers stand point.

What few people see is the day-to-day effect it's had on good, hard-working people.

It  was humiliating to be "down-sized" because of the market conditions. It was torture to find myself sitting straight up in bed at 3 in the morning for way too many nights, crying my eyes out because I didn't know how I was going to cover the bills that month. How was I going to take care of my son? With my income at 25% of what it once was,  I'd nearly run out of savings after not being able to get another job after over a year. The creditors were calling from morning till night. It was even more humiliating (for me) to do, but I had to declare bankruptcy.

I'm not proud of it, but it was the only to hope to salvage what I'd worked so hard for; to get some relief from the constant, sometimes overwhelming stress…and the saga continued. And so did the mess.

This past March, after nearly two years of working with what turned out to be an extremely incompetent attorney and still no bankruptcy confirmation in sight, I fired him. His work was so bad and he'd made so many mistakes that I figured I could do a better job on my own. So, for several months I was my own lawyer.

(Please do NOT try this at home…it sucked 🙂 )

The bankruptcy originally started with the fight to keep my own house after every attempt to work with the bank failed. It was the home I lived in, the one I designed just the way I wanted. It's beautiful. It's mine and I wanted to keep it.

That house is a dream house. It's not overly fancy, but it has stainless steel appliances, granite counter tops, gorgeous dark wood floors and plantation shutters. I chose every detail. Lovingly, painstakingly. It has custom paint and a custom made patio with brick pavers. I hung every ceiling fan and installed every custom light fixture.

And now…someone else is living in it.

No, I haven't lost it, but it was pretty darned close. The only way to save it was to move out of it and make it an investment property, to rent it out. Crazy isn't it that I own five (used to be six, but remember the bad attorney? Nuf said.) investment properties and can't live in any of them.

I know some of you won't feel too sorry for my situation, after all I get to keep most of my "stuff", right? That's very true. I consider myself very lucky. However, since all of this began, I've had to hold on to them by a thread at times. In the past three years, ALL of my houses have been trashed by tenants who felt they were entitled to a free roof over their head, or to steal the appliances, or to steal cabinets. They left disaster in their wake ( they were mad that I evicted them for not paying rent, go figure) and the houses were left beyond filthy. Sometimes it was so bad, it made those people on the TV show "Hoarders" look like neat freaks. I'm not kidding.

All that mess took money, lots of money ( and new, responsible tenants) to put right again.

Financially, things kept going from bad to worse. Why didn't I just throw up my hands and walk away? I asked myself that question…a lot. Every time I didn't think I could take one more thing (like three air conditioners going out in a 30 day period), I'd ask God "why?". He'd say "Hold on, keep the faith, there's always a way".

You know what? There always was. Sometimes it showed up at the very last minute, but it always showed up.

Like the thing with my own house. After many head-to-head battles with opposing attorneys, I had a heart-to-heart with my new attorney ( I might be stubborn, but I'm not dumb. I knew I needed a professional so I hired a good one) I made the decision to move and rent it out. It was the only way; or I stood the risk of losing everything. It was heart-wrenching. Not to mention scary. Since this thing had dragged on so long, my once-stellar credit is now beyond horrible at this point. Who on earth is gonna rent to me? (Ego talking again. Shut up ego)

Not only was I moving me, but I had to move my 8 year old son out of the only school he's ever known. For any kid it's tough, but Emanuel has learning disabilities and a change in his routine can throw him into a tail-spin for quite a while. 

At one point he said (crying) that he wasn't going to move and would live in the empty house. I wanted to crawl under a rock.

But here's how good God is. Within one week's time of making that decision, I put my house up for rent and it rented within a day, found the house (my miracle) I'm living in now and moved. What a whirlwind!

My biggest concern when I started looking for a house was finding someone who would rent to me with my current credit…mmmm…status. I had visions of living in Motel 6 or a refrigerator box under a bridge somewhere. Overly dramatic, I know but unless you've lived it, it's hard to imagine how scary things can get.

Another miracle was in the works…there was this house listed on Craig's List that I was absolutely drawn to. I was looking at other one's, but I always kept coming back to that one. It had been on the market for two weeks in a neighborhood literally one minute away from my youngest daughter and her family. It's in the same neighborhood I lived in for 11 years and loved.

I called on it and was told that there had been NO ONE else that had looked at it or even called on it. I thought that was a little strange since the pictures of it were beautiful. Two story, 3 car garage, three bedrooms, a loft and an office (with doors…bonus) and a POOL! The price was perfect. What the heck was going on?

I made an appointment to see it. The pictures didn't do it justice. It was gorgeous, spotless and unbelievably perfect for what we needed. My son and grandmunchkins would even be going to the same school!!

OK, I thought. Now I have to tell them the credit situation. Better to be up front and get rejected now than get my heart set on it and have them tell me to take a hike.

I didn't have to worry. The owners are lovely. My credit didn't matter. (Huh? This was definitely a God thing) They gave me the keys five days early and even offered to let me split the deposit into two payments. They wanted someone who would take good care of the house and pay on time. Yes folks…that would be me 🙂 We were approved without question. Everything just fell into place. It's like it was meant to be…

At first I couldn't believe it, but then I just smiled…

I know that God was keeping this house for me. Even though I couldn't stay in my dream house, He guided me to one that is absolutely wonderful. No worries about getting a "knock at the door". The stress is gone and the peace I  feel is almost unreal. I know in my heart that even if the worst happened and all my "stuff" got taken away, we'd still be secure and comfortable.

God made a miracle out of the mess.

I said it earlier and I'll say it again. When the world feels like it's caving in around you and you just want to quit, be very still and
listen. "Hold on, there is always a way". He'll lead you out of your mess if you'll let Him. The key is to Trust Him and Let Him. You'll
never have to worry again.

As 2011 closes out and 2012 is on the horizon, I'm super excited. Financially, I'm no where near out of the woods but I have my Plan written down and my priorities in place. I have my own business now. No one is ever gonna get the chance to lay me off again. I'm working with not one, but two awesome coaches for the entire year. Both are successful in their own right, and together this mess will truly become a miracle. I believe that with everything in me.

In order to create that miracle though, I know I have to change. I have to once and for all get over my "stuff" (my excuses). God will only do His part when I do my part. I'm ready to do what it takes and make the changes to turn this mess into a miracle. If you're facing your own "mess", it's my hope that you're willing to make a change, too. You deserve every success.

Folks, there's nothing material that can't be fixed or replaced, we all know that. It's our relationship with God and our family and friends that matters. Those are your everyday miracles.

Maybe you have a story of how a mess became a miracle. I'd love to celebrate it with you and everyone who visits here; so please share your story in the comment section below. Take care. Talk with you soon. Until then..

 

Sonrisas (smiles),

Beth 🙂

 

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The Way To Overcome Resistance Is With Action

Posted on: August 30th, 2011 by Beth Heilman

Ever get something in your head that you just KNEW you were supposed to do?

It could be losing weight…or moving to a new location…or starting a new business (one of my personal favorites 🙂 )

The excitement builds, all the pieces are in place. You may even have your friends and family on board ready to cheer you on in this next exciting step in your life and all of a sudden…WHAM!!

You stop dead in your tracks. Suddenly all the motivation is gone. Even doing the laundry and cleaning the cat box sound like more fun than following through on your new plan.

It's the killer of dreams and the squasher of all things even remotely looking like personal growth or forward movement in your life.

The one sure-fire way to tell if the thing you're wanting to do is really what you're supposed to be doing is when Resistance starts
rearing it's ugly head.

How do you overcome Resistance? Take ACTION.

Do what it is you need to be doing whether you feel like it or not. And whether you're scared to or not. This exposes Resistance for what it really is.

You see, Resistance likes the status quo. It wants you to stay safe and small. The moment you make a decision and start moving forward in your life, good ol' resistance will start following you like a shadow.

You'll procrastinate, you'll rationalize. In it's strongest form, you may even get depressed or sick.

There's a fantastic book called "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield that goes into wonderful detail how resistance in all it's forms, shows up and tries to keep you stuck. I highly recommend it to anyone who knows they've been called to greater things, but just can't seem to "get it in gear".

It doesn't matter a step you take, but do something that will move you closer to where you want to be…whatever that is for you. Take action today.

If you're feeling stuck right now, but know in your heart of hearts you've been called to do bigger things and play a bigger game, I
encourage you to get "The War of Art".  

It will be a game changer for you…it was for me.

Remember one thing about taking action when you're feeling resistance.

It's kind of like turning the light on in a dark room. The room seems spooky and unfamiliar until you flip the switch then…POOF!

Now you can step into that room because you can see. No more fumbling around (procrastinating and avoiding) because you know what's in front of you and what to walk around.

Action is your light switch…flip it today.

Leave a comment below and let me know how YOU overcome resistance. Love to hear from you 🙂
 

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When Opportunity Knocks, How Will You Answer?

Posted on: August 25th, 2011 by Beth Heilman

Sometimes it's feast or famine

There have been times in my life when I've been searching frantically for a job or a business venture and the pool of available opportunities was drier than Death Valley in August. And then, there were times when things were coming at me so fast and furious, I had a hard time deciding WHICH opportunity to take.

.

Ever been in that spot?

How do you know which opportunity or choice is the right one?

Here's a great way to decide.

Recently I finished a 6-part class given by David Neagle called the Miracle of Money. It was an amazing experience. In the class we learned, among other things, that when you set a goal for something (and in the class, it was a money goal) the opportunity to create the money and realize the goal will present itself. (Sidebar: there's more detail than I can go into for now, but suffice it to say things really do show up)

When we'd set goals for the amounts of money we wanted, believe me no one had a clue as to how we were going to get it. Then,as the opportunities started showing up, I and a bunch of other people in the class had a hard time making a choice as to which direction to take.

David gave us four questions that helped us, and now you, figure out the right path to follow. Here are the four very simple questions to ask yourself that make a world of difference:

1) Is this opportunity something I want to be, do or have? If it isn't, no need to go any further. You've got your answer. If you know deep down this thing isn't for you, don't do it. After a while you'll be frustrated at best and miserable at worst. Now, if it's something you're totally jazzed about, on to question #2.

2) Is being, doing or having this taking me closer to my goal?

3) Is being, doing or having this in alignment with Universal (God's) Law (more life to all and less to none)?

4) Does being, doing or having this violate the rights of others (does it take away someone else’s right to choose)? The answers you want are yeses to the first three questions and no to the fourth. Stepping on another persons rights will always bite the stepper in the behind in the long run.

These four questions are so simple, but so powerful. The next time you're faced with a big decision and feeling stuck, go through the questions. You already have the right answers inside of you. These questions will help you find them.

I'd love to hear what you think about this. Leave a comment below and let's talk.

Have we connected on FaceBook and Twitter? Click on the links and follow me, I'd love to meet you.

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The Ultimate Empowerment?…Action!!

Posted on: October 6th, 2010 by Beth Heilman

Have you ever been stuck in a rut of inertia before? Then you probably know the sense of helplessness that takes over your life. You want your life to change, you want your situation to improve…big time, but you feel powerless to do anything about it. You may find yourself constantly making plans to improve your life, but never quite get around to taking action because it seems so overwhelming and intimidating.

Take Action Now

Although taking action can be intimidating and even a little frightening, it can also empower you! If you learn to take action effectively, it can provide the fuel to keep you moving forward toward a more fulfilling and much happier life. Do this and you’ll realize that there was never anything to fear in the first place. By taking positive action you’ll never feel stuck again!

Here are three simple steps that show you how to get started:

1) First, understand that your life is the way it is right now because of your hesitation to take action! This is important, because you’ll understand the importance of moving forward no matter how anxious it makes you feel at first.

Then, decide on one action to take to get the ball rolling. Think about your life right now, and ask yourself which situations you want to change first. You might choose your career, relationships, health, financial situation, or anything else that makes you feel powerless and stuck. Then think about one simple action you can take to inspire some positive change. It doesn’t have to be a huge action, just SOMETHING to start building momentum.

2) Once you’ve decided on your action step, take that step no matter what! This may seem incredibly difficult or even scary, but remember that most often the things you fear are not going to happen. In fact, you may not even have a clear reason for feeling scared – you’re just afraid of the “unknown”. Give yourself a pep talk or push yourself in any way you have to in order to move forward at least a little bit. After you take that first step, be sure to let go of any expectations of the things that may happen because of it, and allow yourself to feel great simply because you did something about it!

3) Lather, rinse and repeat 🙂 Seriously…repeat with the same step, and/or others. Once you’ve taken one step forward, keep pushing yourself to take more and more. Consider this: Even if you take a hundred small steps in a month, you’ll be putting forth positive effort to make changes in your life. You can’t help but bring about better circumstances!

The good news is that taking action quickly begins to build momentum. Just as chronic non-action can create a cycle of negativity and stagnation over time, being proactive can create a positive cycle that continues to grow! The more you do it, the easier it gets! Eventually it seems almost effortless – and you continue to empower and strengthen yourself with every step you take.

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Motivation versus Hype (and How To Tell The Difference)

Posted on: September 12th, 2010 by Beth Heilman

For any of us who have ever attended a pep rally in school or heard a pumped up rah-rah speech, we know what it’s like to get the adrenaline rushing. For that moment in time, we feel like we could go out and conquer the world on sheer will power alone. To those who call that true motivation I say, “hold your horses”.

There is a difference between true motivation and hype. Let’s define the two.

What's The Carrot That Motivates You?

What Motivates You?

True motivation comes from deep down inside. It’s that “Why” we so often hear talked about in our businesses. It’s that driving force that keeps us going when it seems like all the cards are stacked against us. It’s the reason we keep doing what we’re doing even when it appears nothing is working because our intuition “knows” it’s gonna work.

True motivation is internal, hype is external (and doesn’t last very long).

Think back to the pep rally. Everyone’s cheering, everyone’s excited, but once the source of the excitement is gone (the cheerleaders, the game), things go back to the way they were. Nothing has changed. Hype cannot take on a life of it’s own because it’s well…hype.

My advice to you is to ask yourself some hard questions.

Why am I doing what I’m doing (build your own business, starting a new fitness routine, whatever)? Is it because you truly want to? Did someone else tell you it was a good idea and you didn’t want to hurt their feelings or look foolish? Is this something you really want to do long term (even when no one else is looking)? Are you doing it for your reasons or someone elses?

There are times we’ll do something for another person before we’ll do it for ourselves, and that’s fine. Starting your own business so you’ll have the money for your kids college fund is an awesome goal.  Working out three times a week to get healthy so you can play with the grandkids one day is fantastic, but the only one who can keep you motivated to stick with it day in and day out, is you.

Hype lasts for only a moment, true motivation carries you through and lasts a lifetime.

 

 

 

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