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Posts Tagged ‘get out of your own way’

Finding The Miracle in The Mess

Posted on: December 30th, 2011 by Beth Heilman

As I sit here in my office looking back at everything that's happened this past year, it's amazing to me how God works when we let Him.

There's been something going on in my life that I haven't been very vocal about because to be honest, it made me feel like a failure. I thought that if I talked about it and let everyone know about it then they'd KNOW I was a failure and then "who would listen to me".

That was my ego talking. And officially, here and now, I'm stuffing a sock in it's mouth. 

All I know is if I can share what I've been through, maybe just maybe, it will help you or someone else to see that there is always hope…there is always a way.

Let's start with how the mess began…

Many of you know of my years selling Real Estate for builders here in Las Vegas. It's no secret that the Las Vegas housing market has been the black hole of foreclosures and short sales for a few years now and doesn't look like it's getting better any time soon. The results have been devastating economically, from a numbers stand point.

What few people see is the day-to-day effect it's had on good, hard-working people.

It  was humiliating to be "down-sized" because of the market conditions. It was torture to find myself sitting straight up in bed at 3 in the morning for way too many nights, crying my eyes out because I didn't know how I was going to cover the bills that month. How was I going to take care of my son? With my income at 25% of what it once was,  I'd nearly run out of savings after not being able to get another job after over a year. The creditors were calling from morning till night. It was even more humiliating (for me) to do, but I had to declare bankruptcy.

I'm not proud of it, but it was the only to hope to salvage what I'd worked so hard for; to get some relief from the constant, sometimes overwhelming stress…and the saga continued. And so did the mess.

This past March, after nearly two years of working with what turned out to be an extremely incompetent attorney and still no bankruptcy confirmation in sight, I fired him. His work was so bad and he'd made so many mistakes that I figured I could do a better job on my own. So, for several months I was my own lawyer.

(Please do NOT try this at home…it sucked 🙂 )

The bankruptcy originally started with the fight to keep my own house after every attempt to work with the bank failed. It was the home I lived in, the one I designed just the way I wanted. It's beautiful. It's mine and I wanted to keep it.

That house is a dream house. It's not overly fancy, but it has stainless steel appliances, granite counter tops, gorgeous dark wood floors and plantation shutters. I chose every detail. Lovingly, painstakingly. It has custom paint and a custom made patio with brick pavers. I hung every ceiling fan and installed every custom light fixture.

And now…someone else is living in it.

No, I haven't lost it, but it was pretty darned close. The only way to save it was to move out of it and make it an investment property, to rent it out. Crazy isn't it that I own five (used to be six, but remember the bad attorney? Nuf said.) investment properties and can't live in any of them.

I know some of you won't feel too sorry for my situation, after all I get to keep most of my "stuff", right? That's very true. I consider myself very lucky. However, since all of this began, I've had to hold on to them by a thread at times. In the past three years, ALL of my houses have been trashed by tenants who felt they were entitled to a free roof over their head, or to steal the appliances, or to steal cabinets. They left disaster in their wake ( they were mad that I evicted them for not paying rent, go figure) and the houses were left beyond filthy. Sometimes it was so bad, it made those people on the TV show "Hoarders" look like neat freaks. I'm not kidding.

All that mess took money, lots of money ( and new, responsible tenants) to put right again.

Financially, things kept going from bad to worse. Why didn't I just throw up my hands and walk away? I asked myself that question…a lot. Every time I didn't think I could take one more thing (like three air conditioners going out in a 30 day period), I'd ask God "why?". He'd say "Hold on, keep the faith, there's always a way".

You know what? There always was. Sometimes it showed up at the very last minute, but it always showed up.

Like the thing with my own house. After many head-to-head battles with opposing attorneys, I had a heart-to-heart with my new attorney ( I might be stubborn, but I'm not dumb. I knew I needed a professional so I hired a good one) I made the decision to move and rent it out. It was the only way; or I stood the risk of losing everything. It was heart-wrenching. Not to mention scary. Since this thing had dragged on so long, my once-stellar credit is now beyond horrible at this point. Who on earth is gonna rent to me? (Ego talking again. Shut up ego)

Not only was I moving me, but I had to move my 8 year old son out of the only school he's ever known. For any kid it's tough, but Emanuel has learning disabilities and a change in his routine can throw him into a tail-spin for quite a while. 

At one point he said (crying) that he wasn't going to move and would live in the empty house. I wanted to crawl under a rock.

But here's how good God is. Within one week's time of making that decision, I put my house up for rent and it rented within a day, found the house (my miracle) I'm living in now and moved. What a whirlwind!

My biggest concern when I started looking for a house was finding someone who would rent to me with my current credit…mmmm…status. I had visions of living in Motel 6 or a refrigerator box under a bridge somewhere. Overly dramatic, I know but unless you've lived it, it's hard to imagine how scary things can get.

Another miracle was in the works…there was this house listed on Craig's List that I was absolutely drawn to. I was looking at other one's, but I always kept coming back to that one. It had been on the market for two weeks in a neighborhood literally one minute away from my youngest daughter and her family. It's in the same neighborhood I lived in for 11 years and loved.

I called on it and was told that there had been NO ONE else that had looked at it or even called on it. I thought that was a little strange since the pictures of it were beautiful. Two story, 3 car garage, three bedrooms, a loft and an office (with doors…bonus) and a POOL! The price was perfect. What the heck was going on?

I made an appointment to see it. The pictures didn't do it justice. It was gorgeous, spotless and unbelievably perfect for what we needed. My son and grandmunchkins would even be going to the same school!!

OK, I thought. Now I have to tell them the credit situation. Better to be up front and get rejected now than get my heart set on it and have them tell me to take a hike.

I didn't have to worry. The owners are lovely. My credit didn't matter. (Huh? This was definitely a God thing) They gave me the keys five days early and even offered to let me split the deposit into two payments. They wanted someone who would take good care of the house and pay on time. Yes folks…that would be me 🙂 We were approved without question. Everything just fell into place. It's like it was meant to be…

At first I couldn't believe it, but then I just smiled…

I know that God was keeping this house for me. Even though I couldn't stay in my dream house, He guided me to one that is absolutely wonderful. No worries about getting a "knock at the door". The stress is gone and the peace I  feel is almost unreal. I know in my heart that even if the worst happened and all my "stuff" got taken away, we'd still be secure and comfortable.

God made a miracle out of the mess.

I said it earlier and I'll say it again. When the world feels like it's caving in around you and you just want to quit, be very still and
listen. "Hold on, there is always a way". He'll lead you out of your mess if you'll let Him. The key is to Trust Him and Let Him. You'll
never have to worry again.

As 2011 closes out and 2012 is on the horizon, I'm super excited. Financially, I'm no where near out of the woods but I have my Plan written down and my priorities in place. I have my own business now. No one is ever gonna get the chance to lay me off again. I'm working with not one, but two awesome coaches for the entire year. Both are successful in their own right, and together this mess will truly become a miracle. I believe that with everything in me.

In order to create that miracle though, I know I have to change. I have to once and for all get over my "stuff" (my excuses). God will only do His part when I do my part. I'm ready to do what it takes and make the changes to turn this mess into a miracle. If you're facing your own "mess", it's my hope that you're willing to make a change, too. You deserve every success.

Folks, there's nothing material that can't be fixed or replaced, we all know that. It's our relationship with God and our family and friends that matters. Those are your everyday miracles.

Maybe you have a story of how a mess became a miracle. I'd love to celebrate it with you and everyone who visits here; so please share your story in the comment section below. Take care. Talk with you soon. Until then..

 

Sonrisas (smiles),

Beth 🙂

 

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Your Business: It Doesn’t Matter How Small You Start…Just START

Posted on: September 5th, 2011 by Beth Heilman

Lots of times when those entrepreneurial feelings start. We're not quite sure what to do about it.

You know you want to have a business of your own, but there's SO much to do…and there's SO many things you think you have to get in place first.

What about a website? I have to have a website…and business cards.

Must design the perfect business card and Oh, I'll need a logo because the experts say I must "brand" myself.

To all this I say…STOP!!

You're gonna make yourself nuts and you haven't even sold the first thing yet.

Here's what you really need to get started in business…Ready?

The basic ingredients to a successful business consist of these things: 

A need in the market that needs filled or a problem that needs solved People that have those needs or problems (and can pay for the solutions)

You…and your ability to be the go-to person for taking care of those needs and problems.

Your mouth (or someone elses mouth) to get the word out about you and what you do.

Too simple?

Why make it more complicated?

Everyday on the internet you'll find the latest guru-du-jour who'll tell you that their system or training is the answer to building the business of your dreams, and they may be right…partly.

But, if you get all caught up in the getting-ready-to-get-ready syndrome ; buying every tool and training and waiting until everything's perfect

to launch your business, you're doomed before you even start.

And you'll go broke in the process.

It's not about the "stuff", folks.

It's about the people you serve and the product or service you provide to them.

Start small. Talk to five people today about what you do. Heck…just talk to one if that's all you can do, but do it.

Once you start it just gets easier and easier. And if you mess up, so what?

You just figured out how NOT to do something. Congratulations!! You just had a learning experience.

Your marching orders for today…decide what needs to be done in your business today and…DO IT!!

If you're feeling stuck and need some advice or want to share a celebration of how you "just did it", leave a comment below for some
help or a happy dance. Talk with you soon.

To Your Success,
Sonrisas (smiles),

Beth

 

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No Matter How Things May Look…There Is Always A Way

Posted on: August 18th, 2011 by Beth Heilman

I've collected Tiggers for years. You know who I'm talking about, don't you? That adorable orange and black-striped, child-like sidekick of the timeless character, Winnie The Pooh.

Over the last couple decades I've been given stuffed Tiggers, Tigger coffee mugs, Tigger shirts, Tigger PJ's, Tigger Christmas ornaments…You name it, I've got the Tigger for it.

Why Tigger? Because he's the eternal optomist. No matter what's going on around him, no matter what others are saying, no matter whether it's a "blustery day" or some other such negative happenstance, Tigger believes things will always just fine. Tiggers Bounce Back… 🙂

Are you a Tigger…or are you (oh, bother) an Eeyore?

It's so easy to get sucked in to all the negativity from the news, from friends and from family. Some people only feel normal when they're miserable. There are people who are perfectly content to stay where they are in life and there are people who, no matter what crisis or setback happens to them, they bounce back. They're Tiggers

TIggers believe there's always a way. Each one of us, everyday has a choice to either react to the doom and gloom "out there" or respond by rising above it and decide to succeed in spite of it.

I'll ask you again…are you a Tigger or an Eeyore? I'm hoping you'll join me and my Tiggers. We bounce back 🙂

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Motivation And Momentum: The Keys To Reaching your Goals

Posted on: December 10th, 2010 by Beth Heilman

One of the most difficult parts of goal achievement is simply getting started.  It’s easy enough to dream and plan, but many people get stuck in this phase indefinitely and avoid taking action.  Planning and dreaming might make you feel like you’re doing something about your goals, but if you never actually take a step forward you’ll never achieve them.  In order to see measurable progress, you have to step out of your comfort zones and take action.

Keep Moving Forward

When you finally do gather your courage and begin moving forward, what usually happens?  You realize it’s WAY harder than you thought it would be, right?  It feels like you’re trying to run uphill.  You keep tripping over obstacles, facing setbacks and delays, dealing with fear and anxiety, and fighting a daily battle to stay motivated.

It’s during this difficult phase that most people give up.  They decide that “it isn’t meant to be” right now, so they set their dream aside and vow to try again later.  Or worse, they resign themselves to a mediocre life because they don’t believe they have what it takes to succeed.  They’ve “failed,” so they’re not going to try any more.

Have you done this?  Most people have!

However, this doesn’t have to be the end of the story.  You can pick up your dreams, dust them off and try again.  But this time you should know about a little something called Momentum.

You see, the difficult phase I just described is what happens at the beginning when you’re trying to gain momentum.  Most people quit during this phase because they think it’s ALWAYS going to be this hard.  What they don’t realize is that every effort they put toward the achievement of their goals will build on the previous efforts.  With every step forward the process gets easier and easier.  Finally, they’ve put so much energy and effort into the process that momentum begins to take over.  Suddenly they realize that they don’t have to push so hard to keep moving forward.  It becomes fun . . . even easy to achieve their goal.

This same experience can be yours!  All you have to do is keep moving forward.  Keep working toward your dreams and never quit.  Momentum WILL take over eventually!

If you want to get momentum working even more quickly for you there are a few ways to do it, but they can be summed up in one sentence:

Be willing to work harder, faster and take bigger risks than you have in the past.

The reason why momentum can be delayed sometimes is because many people take very tentative steps toward their goals.  They’re afraid to really give it their all, so they hold back much of the energy and power they could be devoting toward their goal.  Even if they’re not aware of it, they may feel more comfortable working at a slower pace, so they avoid taking big risks and instead take baby steps.

There’s not a thing wrong with this approach if it suits you!  However, if you want to make faster progress and build momentum quickly, think about taking bigger steps and giving your full energy and focus toward making it happen.  By doing so, you’ll push through the difficult beginning and find yourself coasting before you know it.

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The Ultimate Empowerment?…Action!!

Posted on: October 6th, 2010 by Beth Heilman

Have you ever been stuck in a rut of inertia before? Then you probably know the sense of helplessness that takes over your life. You want your life to change, you want your situation to improve…big time, but you feel powerless to do anything about it. You may find yourself constantly making plans to improve your life, but never quite get around to taking action because it seems so overwhelming and intimidating.

Take Action Now

Although taking action can be intimidating and even a little frightening, it can also empower you! If you learn to take action effectively, it can provide the fuel to keep you moving forward toward a more fulfilling and much happier life. Do this and you’ll realize that there was never anything to fear in the first place. By taking positive action you’ll never feel stuck again!

Here are three simple steps that show you how to get started:

1) First, understand that your life is the way it is right now because of your hesitation to take action! This is important, because you’ll understand the importance of moving forward no matter how anxious it makes you feel at first.

Then, decide on one action to take to get the ball rolling. Think about your life right now, and ask yourself which situations you want to change first. You might choose your career, relationships, health, financial situation, or anything else that makes you feel powerless and stuck. Then think about one simple action you can take to inspire some positive change. It doesn’t have to be a huge action, just SOMETHING to start building momentum.

2) Once you’ve decided on your action step, take that step no matter what! This may seem incredibly difficult or even scary, but remember that most often the things you fear are not going to happen. In fact, you may not even have a clear reason for feeling scared – you’re just afraid of the “unknown”. Give yourself a pep talk or push yourself in any way you have to in order to move forward at least a little bit. After you take that first step, be sure to let go of any expectations of the things that may happen because of it, and allow yourself to feel great simply because you did something about it!

3) Lather, rinse and repeat 🙂 Seriously…repeat with the same step, and/or others. Once you’ve taken one step forward, keep pushing yourself to take more and more. Consider this: Even if you take a hundred small steps in a month, you’ll be putting forth positive effort to make changes in your life. You can’t help but bring about better circumstances!

The good news is that taking action quickly begins to build momentum. Just as chronic non-action can create a cycle of negativity and stagnation over time, being proactive can create a positive cycle that continues to grow! The more you do it, the easier it gets! Eventually it seems almost effortless – and you continue to empower and strengthen yourself with every step you take.

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